A Note From The Santa Monica Family Therapist

During the teen years, it is vital that parents understand their teen’s behavior rather than merely react to it. – Sandra

Why Teens & Parents Often Struggle During the Teen Years:

1. Teens feel conditionally loved: “I’m OK only if I live up to your expectations.”
2. Parents don’t often allow teens to learn from failure, an excellent motivator.
3. Teens can’t learn time management skills simply through the creation of “daily routine” charts.
4. Parents gift their kids too many things and then wonder why teens are unappreciative and want more.
5. Teens don’t learn problem-solving skills when parents lecture them.
6. Parents don’t always calmly and simply say, “I love you, and the answer is no.”
7. Parents struggle with being kind and firm while holding teens accountable.
8. Parents too often tell their teen what to do rather than inviting them to brainstorm solutions.
9. Parents expect teens to “remember to do their chores” which is not a developmental guarantee.
10. Parents are often more interested in short-term results. For example: I’ll force you to do your homework now even if it means you will not do your best – because you are rebelling.
11. Parents nag, which invites resistance, instead of allowing teens to explore for themselves the relevance of what you want them to do.

Being a “drill sergeant” or a “helicopter parent”  can undermine a teen’s self-esteem, which preventing them from developing confidence in their own abilities. Successfully navigating this phase of life involves setting boundaries and enforcing consequences without becoming punitive, angry, or judgmental.

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

• Free Initial Consultation >
• Effective Parenting Classes >
• Adolescent Counseling 11-18 >
• Social Skills Assessment & Coaching >
• Young Adult Life Skills Coaching 19-24 >

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

A Note From The Santa Monica Teen & Family Therapist

Do your teen daughter find herself feeling nervous when it comes to being around boys? Read up on things you can tell her about this topic. – Sandra

“I’ve always been friends with boys, but as lately, every time I see one of the guys I’ve been close to since kindergarten, I get really nervous. What’s wrong with me?”

I would guess that you are attracted to the guys you are feeling nervous around. This is not unusual. As hormones change, biologically we become interested in people who could be potential future life partners. This can leave you feeling self-conscious and awkward around people who, up until now, were simply your friends.

Also, as you grow up, you don’t always talk about the same things you used to talk about as a child. Therefore, you may also find yourself struggling to be with old friends in a new way. These can leave you feeling like you are just talking about random stuff.

Lastly, boys and girls who played together as children may start moving into different areas of interest as they prepare for their roles as young men and women. Our society tends to define people in terms of male and female roles, with different sets of expectations for each. This can be confusing, as those roles were not so obvious when you as children. People you thought you knew well can suddenly feel like strangers as they move in different directions from you.

Your job, during this time, is to discover who you are, and who you like spending time. My suggestion is to choose companions with whom you feel comfortable being yourself when you are around them.

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

• Free Initial Consultation >
• Effective Parenting Classes >
• Adolescent Counseling 11-18 >
• Social Skills Assessment & Coaching >
• Young Adult Life Skills Coaching 19-24 >

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

A Note From The Santa Monica Family Therapist

In order to be eligible to sign up for Facebook, kids must be 13 years of age or older. – Sandra

In a presentation I gave recently at a local middle school, I learned that many of the kids who have Facebook pages were under 13, and did not really understand the purpose of Facebook. Many teens and preteens seem to think that Facebook was designed as a popularity contest. Therefore, their intention in posting is to get people to “like” their posts and “friend” them. This can lead some teens to obsess over whether they are getting enough “likes’ and who has more friends.

Glued to their computers after school (or sometimes during, if they have the phone app) they stalk their peer’s Facebook pages to check for updates. Instead of using this website as a way to merely share special moments with people they care about, and who care about them, they set out to prove something – that they are worthy of attention.

Some teens go to such extremes as to post inappropriate photos of themselves and others, not recognizing the long-term consequences of those images floating around on the Internet – forever. Other teens engage in cyber-bullying, using the Facebook medium as a way to bash others and knock them down.

There is a maturity level that allows a young person to recognize who are actually their friends and to feel secure in, as well as nurture those relationships. I fear that 13 may be too young for many kids to have this level of emotional maturity. Until a child is able to step away from the computer on their own volition to attend to their homework and other responsibilities, Facebook may be an unnecessary distraction.

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

• Free Initial Consultation >
• Effective Parenting Classes >
• Adolescent Counseling 11-18 >
• Social Skills Assessment & Coaching >
• Young Adult Life Skills Coaching 19-24 >

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

A Note From The Santa Monica Teen & Family Therapist

Read on to learn how you can help your teen deal with bullying. – Sandra

Has anyone ever intimidated you, or made you feel less than them? Perhaps it was a parent, a teacher, a neighbor, an employer, or a spouse. The feeling was probably one of helplessness and despair, along with perhaps some anger and the desire for revenge.

People often define things by right and wrong, good and bad, different and similar. When countries go to war over over religion and people are judged for the color of their skin or romantic preference, what lessons are we teaching our teens?

When little Johnnie hits a friend for taking his toy, there is an opportunity to teach him how to share. When bigger Johnnie mocks his classmate for his handicap or learning disability, there is an opportunity to teach him about diversity.

If your teen frequently hears you talk down about others, or experiences  you using intimidation to get them to do what you want, you may be teaching them how to be bullies, or victims. I invite you to consider the possibility of using your behavior to teach lessons of  respect, compassion and acceptance.

As for parents of the victims being bullied, there will always be people who don’t treat your teen in the way you would like. But if you help your teen to have a strong sense of self love, they can respond in ways that avoid giving bullies satisfaction.

There are ways to handle insults that remove their sting. For example, if someone makes a mocking comment about one’s clothes, hair, accent, or physical features, a response you could suggest to your teen might be to simply say: “Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Thank you for sharing yours.”

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

• Free Initial Consultation >
• Effective Parenting Classes >
• Adolescent Counseling 11-18 >
• Social Skills Assessment & Coaching >
• Young Adult Life Skills Coaching 19-24 >

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

A Note From The Santa Monica Family Therapist

Are you aware of how much time your teen spends on their phone each day? – Sandra

Call me old fashioned, but to me, the purpose of Facebook is to let the folks who care about you, but can’t see or speak with you every day (like grandparents, best friends, or kids away at college) get a glimpse into how you are doing and perhaps spending your days. It is not about obsessively creating posts for each and every thing you think or do.

Questions For Parents To Ponder:

1. How much time does your teen spend on their phone each day?

2. Do you ever limit their time on the phone or computer?

3. Does your teen spend more time on technology than actually seeing their friends?

4. Does looking at Instagram every make your teen feel lonely or sad?

5. Does your teen ever complain of online fights or cyber-bullying?

6. Has your teen ever lost their Instagram privileges for neglecting their schoolwork by being online too much?

7. Does your teen have hobbies outside of being online?

8. Do you ever feel like you can’t get your teen to step away from their computer?

9. Does your teen ever use texting because they are too shy to speak directly to someone?

10. If your teen did not have a computer (or cell phone), how might they stay in contact with their friends?

If you teen is spending too much time on the computer, then you may want to consider helping them to cut back, replacing screen time with time spent on homework, with family and friends, or getting some fresh air and exercise. Here is one solution that I have recommended to parents: Net Nanny Parental Control Software

Net Nanny^® provides:

• Ease of use
• Remote management
• Alerts and reporting
• Time controls
• Profanity masking
• Monitoring of IM chats

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

• Free Initial Consultation >
• Effective Parenting Classes >
• Adolescent Counseling 11-18 >
• Social Skills Assessment & Coaching >
• Young Adult Life Skills Coaching 19-24 >

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

A Note From The Santa Monica Teen & Family Therapist

Teens across the country are struggling, and many parents don’t know why, or how to help them. Read on to learn if therapy could help your family. – Sandra

Often, parents have avoided seeking mental health services for their teen due to the old stigma associated with therapy. However, did you realize that by waiting until the problem with your teen has escalated, the issue often becomes more complicated to solve?

The Internet now allows parents the opportunity to seek support for their child or family before the onset of mental illness has occurred. The Internet can also be a great tool for parents to do research and learn more about mental health related issues.

As a therapist for teens, I use the Internet and social media to be a resource promoting teen mental health. My intention is for parents, whose teens are in emotional pain, can consult with me on next steps in their child’s recovery.

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

• Free Initial Consultation >
• Effective Parenting Classes >
• Adolescent Counseling 11-18 >
• Social Skills Assessment & Coaching >
• Young Adult Life Skills Coaching 19-24 >

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

A Note From The Santa Monica Family Therapist

The behaviors that are being called bullying today are more appropriately called aggression or dominance behavior. – Sandra

Many times a bully is seeking power. If they don’t receive a sense of having some legitimate power at home – because they are in an environment where they are constantly being controlled, told what to do, as well as how and when to do it – they may seek power outside the home which can present in the form of bullying.

I think it is important for us to understand that kids who are bullied seem to attract the attention of other kids in ways that make them uncomfortable. Perhaps they are smaller, act in odd or unusual ways, suffer from mental or emotional challenges, or lack social skills. The bully is then able to exploit other kid’s discomfort, leading them to pick on the victim – or simply reacts out of his own discomfort.

For parents of bullying victims, please know that there will always be people who don’t treat your child the way you would like. We live in a world where differences in preference and opinion abound. Teaching your teen self-love and acceptance, and helping them to be comfortable in their own skin will enable them to respond in ways that prevent giving bullies satisfaction.

There are ways to handle insults from bullies that can remove their sting. For example, if someone makes amocking comment about one’s clothes, hair, accent or physical features, a viable response could be to simply say: “Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Thank you for sharing yours.” The bully is seeking a particular response from their victim, and when they fail to get that response, bullying stops being fun. Unless the bully is pathologically disturbed, simple techniques like using humor or walking away can resolve the situation.

Of course, physical violence must be dealt with through adult intervention with the intention of creating a corrective experience (i.e., anger management classes for the bully and emotional support for the victim). However, I want to caution those listening to not get caught up in rejecting attitudes toward bullies because this simply creates more humiliation and shame, a contributing factor behind their pain.

It is up to parents, teachers and anyone who has contact with children to truly listen and keep the lines of communication open. It is essential for kids to realize that they do not have to handle being bullied – alone. Working together, we can find a way for victims and bullies alike to safely get assistance.
If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

• Free Initial Consultation >
• Effective Parenting Classes >
• Adolescent Counseling 11-18 >
• Social Skills Assessment & Coaching >
• Young Adult Life Skills Coaching 19-24 >

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.