During the teen years, it is vital that parents understand their teen’s behavior rather than merely react to it. – Sandra
Why Teens & Parents Often Struggle During the Teen Years:
1. Teens feel conditionally loved: “I’m OK only if I live up to your expectations.”
2. Parents don’t often allow teens to learn from failure, an excellent motivator.
3. Teens can’t learn time management skills simply through the creation of “daily routine” charts.
4. Parents gift their kids too many things and then wonder why teens are unappreciative and want more.
5. Teens don’t learn problem-solving skills when parents lecture them.
6. Parents don’t always calmly and simply say, “I love you, and the answer is no.”
7. Parents struggle with being kind and firm while holding teens accountable.
8. Parents too often tell their teen what to do rather than inviting them to brainstorm solutions.
9. Parents expect teens to “remember to do their chores” which is not a developmental guarantee.
10. Parents are often more interested in short-term results. For example: I’ll force you to do your homework now even if it means you will not do your best – because you are rebelling.
11. Parents nag, which invites resistance, instead of allowing teens to explore for themselves the relevance of what you want them to do.
Being a “drill sergeant” or a “helicopter parent” can undermine a teen’s self-esteem, which preventing them from developing confidence in their own abilities. Successfully navigating this phase of life involves setting boundaries and enforcing consequences without becoming punitive, angry, or judgmental.
If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.
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