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Recommended Reading for Parents of Teens

May 1, 2016 by Santa Monica Teen Therapist

family problems

A Note From The Santa Monica Teen & Family Therapist

The following is a list of  books I often recommend to the parents in my teen therapy practice. Many have found them helpful in understanding the challenges their teen may be facing. – Sandra

The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness
By Edward M. Hallowell, M.D.

The author argues that kids do not need straight As, a crammed schedule of extracurricular activities or even a traditional family in order to become contented adults. Kids do not need perfect lives, and learn from adversity and failure, but for the best chance of future happiness, Hallowell says, they need five basic tenets: to feel connected, to play, to practice, attain mastery and receive recognition.

Nurturing Resilience in Our Children
By Robert Brooks, P.h.D., and Sam Goldstein, P.h.D.

Addresses how to teach children to be responsible without provoking a negative reaction, how to guide them to cope with frustrations and challenges without coddling or criticizing them, and how to promote compassion by modeling good interpersonal skills as parents. A helpful chapter on the parent-teacher alliance covers questions on how parents should tackle concerns with school problems and work with their school to find a solution.

Right from Wrong: Instilling a Sense of Integrity in your Child
By Michael Riera and Joseph Di Prisco

Targeted for preschoolers through preteens, each chapter is organized around evocative vignettes about finding integrity. Among them: a kindergartner stealing a candy bar, the death of a family pet, a dustup on the soccer field, an 11-year-old who gives her phone number to a teenage boy at the movies. The authors imaginatively explore how parents can leverage kids’ everyday experiences–homework, competition, tattling, awakening sexuality, or surfing the Internet–into teachable moments of integrity.

The Female Brain
by Louann Brizendine, MD

The author tells the story of the human brain concisely with the impact of a good novel. This book is worth owning for anyone who wants to understand women better, how they change over the years and how female psychology correlates to development and physiology.

Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way
by M. Gary Neuman

If you want to know what your children are really experiencing and want to help, this book is for you. Be warned, it will make you cry, feel pain for your children, and possibly resurrect feelings of guilt. But it will also give you insight and direct you in how to continue parenting effectively with love and guidance, with or without the cooperation of your ex-spouse.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk
by Adele Faber

This book is an excellent communication tool kit, which provides a step-by-step approach to improving relationships in your house.

Parenting from the Inside Out
by Daniel Siegel and Mary Hartzell

Drawing upon stunning new findings in neurobiology and attachment research, they explain how interpersonal relationships directly impact the development of the brain, and offer parents a step-by-step approach to forming a deeper understanding of their own life stories, which will help them raise compassionate and resilient children.

The Price of Privilege
by Madeline Levine Levine

Explores such issues as social isolation, the fine line between parental under-involvement and over-indulgence, and the perverse role of money and material goods in creating false promises of fulfillment. Yearning for outward approval, adolescents are particularly vulnerable to the delusion that wealth causes happiness.

Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls
by Mary Pipher and Ruth Ross

With sympathy and focus the author cites case histories to illustrate the struggles required of adolescent girls to maintain a sense of themselves among the mixed messages they receive from society, their schools and, often, their families. Pipher offers concrete suggestions for ways by which girls can build and maintain a strong sense of self.

Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys
by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson

The authors turn a spotlight on the inner lives of boys, debunking preconceptions about gender, explaining the importance of nurturing communication skills and empathy in boys as well as girls, and steering boys toward a manhood of emotional attachment, not stoicism and solitude.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
by John M. Gottman

Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. In his book he outlines seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship.

Siblings Without Rivalry
by Adele Faber (Author), Elaine Mazlish

The authors talk you through umpteen different situations and outcomes to help you teach your brawling offspring a new set of responses. The highly informative text is punctuated with helpful summary/reminder boxes and cartoons illustrating key points. It’s a must-read for parents with (or planning on) multiple children.

The Blessing of a Skinned Knee
by Wendy Mogel

This author’s wise reflections on parenting demonstrate that trying to iron out any difficulties our children may face in life – now and in the future – actually hinders their development, producing offspring that have far less initiative, resilience, and character than they should.

Too Much of a Good Thing – Raising Children of Character
by Dan Kindlon, P.h.D.

Affluent parents often make life easy for their children while imposing high expectations about academics and sports. These children can then fail to develop life skills necessary to deal with inevitable setbacks and challenges on their own. In frustration over their perceived lack of competence, many indulge in drugs, alcohol, and inappropriate sexual practices.

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

  • Free Initial Consultation >
  • Effective Parenting Classes >
  • Adolescent Counseling 11-18 >
  • Social Skills Assessment & Coaching >
  • Young Adult Life Skills Coaching 19-24 >

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Filed Under: Parent Advice & Support Articles Tagged With: Find a Family Therapist, FREE Parent Consultations, Parent Coaching, Parenting Classes, Santa Monica Family Therapy and Counseling, Teen and Adolescent Therapist and Counselor, Teen Support Groups

Can Therapy Boost Your Teen’s Happiness?

April 25, 2016 by Santa Monica Teen Therapist

cryingteenwithmother

A Note From The Santa Monica Teen & Family Therapist

A recent study revealed that psychotherapy is more helpful than the things money can buy, in terms of making people happy. – Sandra

Marital discord, parental pre-occupation, learning disabilities, drug abuse, bullying, or acculturation difficulties, and you’ve got the makings for a teen who is probably not optimally functioning at school. So what can you do about this?

Well, first you have to be aware of it. Often, it’s the teachers who see the students daily, who will notice the change in their student’s behavior and can bring it to your attention. Each school may have a different way of tackling student problems.

Some schools have a psychologist on the campus. Some schools have interns that come from a mental health training facility that offer on-campus assessments and counseling. Other schools have a peer-counseling program, where students are trained to listen and consult with their program director when necessary. Still other schools have a list of private practice professionals that they refer to.

I wanted to also let you know about some innovative programs that some schools started offering which are designed to address phase of life adolescent issues as a preventative measure. These include a weekly “Talking Circle,” where teens gather with a facilitator to listen respectfully to each other as new topics are discussed each week, anger management groups or classes, social skills groups or classes, and self-esteem groups or classes.

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

  • Free Initial Consultation >
  • Effective Parenting Classes >
  • Adolescent Counseling 11-18 >
  • Social Skills Assessment & Coaching >
  • Young Adult Life Skills Coaching 19-24 >

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Filed Under: Parent Advice & Support Articles Tagged With: Find a Family Therapist, FREE Parent Consultations, Parent Coaching, Parenting Classes, Santa Monica Family Therapy and Counseling, Teen and Adolescent Therapist and Counselor, Teen Support Groups

How To Handle Teen’s Hurt Feelings

April 15, 2016 by Santa Monica Teen Therapist

dreamstime_xs_101333501

A Note From The Santa Monica Teen & Family Therapist

Best friends often say things without thinking about how their words may affect each other. Read on to learn how to teach your teen how to handle misunderstandings.- Sandra

“I started playing basketball on a team a year ago. One day, me and my BFF were shooting baskets and she told me she was better than me at playing basketball. That may be true, but what she said hurt my feeling! What should I do?”

I can appreciate that what your friend said about her being better than you, at a sport you are trying to compete in, did not feel nice. Since you are BFFs, I think it could be helpful to let her know how you feel.

The problem isn’t that she thinks she is better than you at shooting baskets. You, yourself, said she is really good. The problem is that she didn’t seem to understand how her words affected you.

The question I have for you is what did her words mean to you? Did they mean that she doesn’t care about you in the way you thought she did? Do they mean that she is somehow no longer your equal? To be able to communicate what you feel, it is important for you to understand what you are feeling.

Adolescence is a time in life when teens are trying to figure out who they are. By comparing yourself to others, you find out what you are good at, and where you may have to work harder. Your friend may have simply been trying to feel good about herself.

Adolescence is also a time of feeling vulnerable and a little insecure. Which is why teens are very sensitive to things that are said by their friends. This may be why it feels really uncomfortable to talk to her right now.

Something else to consider is that there are often expectations that go along with being best friends. I would guess that one of these expectations is that a best friend would cheer you on, and believe in you. It can be shocking and disappointing when your friend says something less than positive or encouraging.

Communicating how you feel in a kind and respectful manner can go a long way towards repairing this relationship. Your friend may not have meant any harm, and may even believe that you are better than her in other areas. Perhaps this situation could be an opportunity to strengthen your relationship, by discussing what it actually means to each of you to be each others best friend.

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

  • Free Initial Consultation >
  • Effective Parenting Classes >
  • Adolescent Counseling 11-18 >
  • Social Skills Assessment & Coaching >
  • Young Adult Life Skills Coaching 19-24 >

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Filed Under: Parent Advice & Support Articles Tagged With: Find a Family Therapist, FREE Parent Consultations, Parent Coaching, Parenting Classes, Santa Monica Family Therapy and Counseling, Teen and Adolescent Therapist and Counselor, Teen Support Groups

Help Your Teen Develop Wisdom

January 28, 2016 by Santa Monica Teen Therapist

teen-parent-talking

A Note From The Santa Monica Teen & Family Therapist

Teens don’t often stop and think about who they are and where they are going in life. As a parent, you can be instrumental in helping your teen begin the process of examining their life. – Sandra

Self-reflection allows teens to figure out what about a situation is unpleasant and then to come up with possible ways of responding more effectively with similar experiences in the future. The habit of self-reflection is not often easy for teens to develop on their own, and they need to be encouraged and guided.

Self-reflection helps teens to figure out more effective ways of interacting with the world. Teens may come to recognize that there are certain skills they still need to learn. They might also come to understand ways to avoid similar situations in the future, or how they might turn them around.

The world is full of distractions. Television, video games, and cell phones definitely look more exciting to teens than time for reflection. Yet, self-reflection is important because it gives teens the sense that they creating their life, and not merely being ruled by forces outside of their control.

Self-reflection provides a doorway to understanding themselves, and life in general. The kind of wisdom and self-control that teens need to be ready to go out into the world and live on their own doesn’t come all at once. It is gained by learning from their mistakes and utilizing every experiences to grow.

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

  • Free Initial Consultation >
  • Effective Parenting Classes >
  • Adolescent Counseling 11-18 >
  • Social Skills Assessment & Coaching >
  • Young Adult Life Skills Coaching 19-24 >

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Filed Under: Parent Advice & Support Articles Tagged With: Find a Family Therapist, FREE Parent Consultations, Parent Coaching, Parenting Classes, Santa Monica Family Therapy and Counseling, Teen and Adolescent Therapist and Counselor, Teen Support Groups

Teaching Your Daughter To Deal With Envy

January 14, 2016 by Santa Monica Teen Therapist

Indian thirteen year old girl smiling

A Note From The Santa Monica Teen & Family Therapist

It’s not uncommon for teenage girls to pick on others who stand out from the crowd. Read on for tips on how to support your daughter in dealing with jealous girls. – Sandra

“I’m a cheerleader and all of my friends act mad at me because I can do cool tricks and flips. They think I’m showing off, but I’m really not like that at all. What do I do now??”

What you are describing is something called envy. Sometimes, when you have something that someone else wants, they try to take it away from you by putting it down. This is one of the main reasons that gossip magazines are so popular. Everyone wants to hear the dirt on the stars who appear to be living the “dream life”.

YOUR HAVE CHOICES

  • You can just keep doing what you are doing, knowing that you will just have to put up with other girls acting envious.
  • You can stop doing all your cool tricks and anything else that makes you stand out.
  • You can share what you have by helping those who are interested learn to do some cool tricks of their own.

I recommend sharing as a way to build a bridge between you and those who wish they had what you have. Of course, there may still be some who won’t accept your gift, but a number of people will realize what a really nice person and real friend you are.

To have good friends you first need to be a good friend. Good friends share what they have. Good friends stick up for each other. Good friends are kind to each other. Good friends encourage each other to be the best they can be.

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

  • Free Initial Consultation >
  • Effective Parenting Classes >
  • Adolescent Counseling 11-18 >
  • Social Skills Assessment & Coaching >
  • Young Adult Life Skills Coaching 19-24 >

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Filed Under: Parent Advice & Support Articles Tagged With: Find a Family Therapist, FREE Parent Consultations, Parent Coaching, Parenting Classes, Santa Monica Family Therapy and Counseling, Teen and Adolescent Therapist and Counselor, Teen Support Groups

Does Your Teen Like To Gossip?

January 7, 2016 by Santa Monica Teen Therapist

girl.acne

A Note From The Santa Monica Teen & Family Therapist

It can be fun to get together with friends and chat about things, even other people, but crossing the line to gossiping can be dangerous. – Sandra

GOSSIPING CAN MEAN A FEW THINGS:

  • Feeling envious or jealous of someone, and trying to feel better about oneself by putting the other person down.
  • Trying to feel more popular, using gossip as a way to gather more people around them.
  • Angry with someone, but instead of handling the hurt feelings directly with that person, venting those feelings publicly.
  • Seeing something in the behavior of that other person that one believes is wrong and is trying to force that person to change by alerting everyone else.

Have you considered sharing with your teen, your feelings and concerns about gossiping in general, and creating a discussion?

She is doing what she is doing for a reason. However, she may not understand why she is doing it and your conversation could be a safe place where she can explore her feelings. Together, you could discover better options for handling these situations besides gossiping.

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

  • Free Initial Consultation >
  • Effective Parenting Classes >
  • Adolescent Counseling 11-18 >
  • Social Skills Assessment & Coaching >
  • Young Adult Life Skills Coaching 19-24 >

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Filed Under: Parent Advice & Support Articles Tagged With: Find a Family Therapist, FREE Parent Consultations, Parent Coaching, Parenting Classes, Santa Monica Family Therapy and Counseling, Teen and Adolescent Therapist and Counselor, Teen Support Groups

A Sanctuary for Teenagers in Santa Monica

December 25, 2015 by Santa Monica Teen Therapist

LIghterOfficePhoto

A Note From The Santa Monica Teen & Family Therapist

Welcome to my office … a sanctuary where teenagers come to explore their feelings, discuss what’s on their mind, and discover their authentic expression.

ONE FAMILY’S STORY:

“We came to Sandra Dupont with concerns about our fifteen year-old daughter–whose risky behavior was increasing. Sandra was very responsive and proved to be extremely knowledgeable about families in crisis..

She helped us coordinate a plan of action that brought our family to a healthier place. We are forever thankful to Sandra, and so fortunate to have had her support and assistance. ”

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

  • Free Initial Consultation >
  • Effective Parenting Classes >
  • Adolescent Counseling 11-18 >
  • Social Skills Assessment & Coaching >
  • Young Adult Life Skills Coaching 19-24 >

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Filed Under: Parent Advice & Support Articles Tagged With: Find a Family Therapist, FREE Parent Consultations, Parent Coaching, Parenting Classes, Santa Monica Family Therapy and Counseling, Teen and Adolescent Therapist and Counselor, Teen Support Groups

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