A Note From The Santa Monica Family Therapist

It’s often difficult getting started at a new school. It may seen like everyone already has their friends, and some people just aren’t open to meeting new people. Here are ideas on how to talk to your teen about this. – Sandra

“I just moved to a new school and nobody wants to be my friend. I’ve tried everything! What can I do to get at least one friend?”

Start by noticing who in your class looks interesting to you. Pay attention to what you like about them. Try to notice who has friendly eyes, a kind smile, and is generous to others. Pick out at least 5 people who you think might make a good friend. Try saying hello to them every day for a week and see how they respond. What you are doing is showing them that you are interested in getting to know them. How they respond back to you will let you know who might be interested in getting to know you.

Once you have gotten a pleasant response from someone to your saying hello, you can approach that person and find out more about them. Begin by introducing yourself and saying where you moved from, and asking them a question. The question can be about anything, but ideally, you want to find out what they do in their spare time. The secret to success is to find someone who you can have a fun conversation with. You do not have to settle for someone who just doesn’t seem that interested in you.

Good friendships are often based on shared interests, meaning that you like to do similar things that they like to do. It’s okay if not everyone is a match for you. Don’t worry about it. Just move on..

Adolescent counselor, family therapist and respectful parenting coach for over 10 years based in Santa Monica, California.

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