A Note From The Santa Monica Teen & Family Therapist
Middle School is a time when the opinions of friends become very important, and pre-teens often wonder about how to fit in. – Sandra
Adolescence is a time when young people are discovering who they are and how they want to be perceived in the world. One of the challenges that pre-teens face during this time is that each family has their own set of rules.
The key is to respond to your pre-teen’s requests with respect and creativity. The privilege of staying up later is something that can be earned. One option is talk about how they might earn the privilege of staying up a little later.
Some shows that are on at night have adult language and behavior that some parents would prefer that their children not watch. It could be helpful to learn more about the shows they are referring to. If you are open to their watching these shows, but are just concerned about them getting enough sleep on a school night, then perhaps you would consider taping them for your child and allowing them to watch the show at an earlier time the following day, or on the weekend.
The bottom line is that there is a good chance that your child will find themselves in situations where they are not allowed to do everything that all of their friends are doing. As long as they live in your house, you will be setting some rules.
The better your relationship with your child, the better chance you have of calmly negotiating with them for what they want. And in those times when they don’t get their way, it’s important for them to know that they are not the only one who struggles with parents who set limits.
If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.
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