A Note From The Santa Monica Teen & Family Therapist

Teen girls don’t always recognize the price they pay for giving up their values to be popular. Here is a conversation worth having with your daughter. – Sandra

I imagine that you have an idea of how your life would be different, and somehow better, if you became more popular. It might be helpful to write down the things you think you would gain by becoming a popular girl at your school. Also write down a list of things that you might also need to give up in order to gain that popular status.

Would being popular mean that you always have to be concerned with how you look, or what other people are saying about you? Would you need to gossip, or be rude to others? Would you be constantly worrying whether someone else is more popular than you? How would you know who your true friends are?

Not all popular girls are mean and not all mean girls are popular. Being mean may be an indication that someone is not very happy. People who choose to be hurtful, and rejecting of others, may be struggling with some insecurities that they try to hide by appearing tough, or overly confident.

Being popular can actually be an opportunity to make a positive difference in your world. Like the celebrities who use their influence to help others, you could be a positive role model that your classmates look up to. And, if you choose to pursue popularity, please don’t forget the people who already love you for who you are.

Is your teen stressed out or anxious about school or friends?

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