A Note From the Santa Monica Teen & Family Therapist

Despite some bumps in the road, teens really do want to feel connected to, as well as gain their parent’s approval. – Sandra

Worst Mistakes Parents Make When Talking to Teens:

*Talking Too Much

*Nagging and Giving Multiple Warnings

*Using Guilt and Shame to Get Compliance

*Not Listening

*Yelling on issues which could’ve been handled with a straightforward tone.

(acknowledging Melanie Greenberg)

The foundation of effective parenting is leading by example. When children observe how we treat them – and others – they learn how to behave. Here are some practical questions to consider in your relationship with your teen:

Putting Love into Action:

1. How and when do you interact with your teen?

2. When and why do you smile at your teen?

3. How do you talk to your teen?

4. When do you choose to hug and kiss your teen?

5. Do you tolerate your teen’s upset or do you try to understand why?

6. How do you set limits with your teen?

7. Do you allow your teen to experience some frustration?

8. In what ways do you allow your teen to explore and to make their own choices?

9. Do you ever tell your teen how you are really feeling?

(acknowledging Magda Gerber)

The key to maximizing your teen’s cooperation lies in your connection with them. Your teen needs you to be their anchor, and not lose your balance when they lose theirs. And when you do lose it (being human), they need for the connection between you to be repaired. By making a conscious effort to repair your relationship following emotional upheavals, you model the self-regulation skills that they need to support them during life’s challenges.

Adolescent counselor, family therapist and respectful parenting coach for over 10 years based in Santa Monica, California.

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Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.