Teen Social-Skills Coaching

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A Note From The Santa Monica Teen & Family Therapist

Uncovering the reasons behind your adolescent’s withdrawn behavior can help put an end your teenager’s social isolation. – Sandra

Some teens struggle socially, for many reasons. For example:

1. Isolation can be caused by the way these teens look, dress, act, or a combination thereof.
2. Moodiness and erratic or volatile behavior can drive adolescents away from their peer group.
3. Shyness can be a cause of social isolation.
4. Some adolescents may be ostracized by peers due to their excelling academically or underachieving.
5. Adolescents who spend too much time on the internet or playing video games lose touch with their friends. They may replace genuine social interaction with online conversations with strangers.
6. A depressed adolescent often loses interest in everyday activities, dropping out of social groups at school.

Does your teen know how to:

1. Really listen?
2. Make new connections?
3. Let others get to know them?
4. Express what they feel and need?
5. Recognize hidden agendas in others?
6. Communicate respectfully within the family?
7. Set appropriate limits with regards to their bodies?
8. Be assertive (not aggressive) in their communication?

I work with teen clients one-on-one to identify areas where they can improve their social skills, and teach them tips and tricks to improve those skills. I can teach your child how to feel more empowered in social situations.

Working together with me in for a short time, they will learn:

* Conflict management
* How to be more assertive
* How to gain and keep more friends
* How to be confident in social situations

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Is Your Teen Highly Anxious?

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A Note From The Santa Monica Teen & Family Therapist

Increased feelings of uneasiness about their body, performance, and peer acceptance are common in adolescence – Sandra

When your teen talks to me about their fears and anxieties, I listen carefully and respectfully, without discounting their feelings. Some adolescents are just naturally more timid than others. As their bodies, voices, and emotions change during adolescence, these sensitive young people may feel even more self-conscious.

In extreme cases, the adolescents can become very withdrawn, unable to overcome intense self-doubt and worry. I work with these teens to trace their anxiety to specific situations and experiences, and teach them techniques to help them reduce the overwhelming nature of their anxious feelings.

While anxiety disorders can cause considerable distress in a teen’s life, the overall prognosis is good. Extreme anxiety in teens may require a combination of treatment interventions that can include meditation, Neurofeedback, or a referral for medication. The most effective plan is one that is individualized to the teenager and their family.

Anxiety carries information. My goal is to help my teen clients learn self-soothing techniques to manage their anxiety, so they can move beyond it to reach their goals.

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Teaching Teens To Resolve Conflicts

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A Note From the Santa Monica Teen & Family Counselor

There is a saying “Give a man to fish, you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish, you feed him for life.” – Sandra

Your teen is in the process of learning how to tolerate and digest their uncomfortable feelings, so be sure to give them the space to do this. One way you can assist your teen is in inviting them to reflect on their day. You can give them the opportunity to expand their emotional vocabulary and practice emotional intelligence by asking them these 3 questions at bedtime:

  1. What happened today that made you happy?
  2. Did anything happen today that made you sad?
  3. Was there anything that caused you to feel frustrated?

Sometimes parents need to act as their teen’s surrogate frontal lobe by helping them name their feelings, explore options, and figure out if solutions agreed upon take both party’s needs into consideration. For your teen to be able to participate successfully in conflict-resolution discussions with you, they must first:

  • Be able to identify and articulate their concerns.
  • Be able to consider a range of possible solutions.
  • Be able to reflect on the likely outcome of those solutions, as well as the degree to which they are mutually satisfactory.

How can you help your teen gain the skills of flexibility, adaptability, frustration tolerance and conflict resolution? By involving them in the decision-making process in a collaborative way. Explosive behavior occurs in teens when the demands of the environment exceed their capacity to respond adaptively.

If you believe your teen is being overly reactive because of lagging skills and unresolved problems, then offering rewards and punishments may not be the best approach. Solving those problems and teaching those skills would make much better sense!

Adolescent counselor, family therapist and respectful parenting coach for over 10 years based in Santa Monica, California.

Menu of Services Offered:

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Choosing a Therapist for Your Teen

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A Note From The Santa Monica Teen & Family Therapist

I specialize in working with shy, sensitive and creative teenagers from diverse, multicultural families. -Sandra

I help parents get the whole picture of what’s going on in their teen’s mind, including the neurological changes that occur during adolescence. The reason I offer families with teens a FREE Initial Parent Consultation is to give you the opportunity to get a better sense of who I am–and how I work. In learning more about the symptoms your family is experiencing, I am able to make recommendations on how to address the challenges your teen is struggling with.

Not all family therapists have extensive experience working with the teen population. Along with my Marriage and Family Therapist license, I have advanced training in Child Specialization Studies and Adolescent Psychology, and over 10 years experience as practicing counselor for teenagers. I specialize in coaching and therapy for highly sensitive adolescents and their families. I currently write a Teen Advice Blog and have 2 books on Amazon.com called “What Would Your Teen Life Coach Say?” and “What Would Your Teen Therapist Say?”

Before starting family counseling, it is important for parents to reflect on what they hope to get out of the experience of therapy. It is also essential for you to examine your readiness to embrace the changes that may be necessary for your family to make. Family therapy is a collaborative relationship between you and I, with parents needing to reinforce the work I do at home.

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Avoiding Teen Power Struggles

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A Note From The Santa Monica Family Therapist

During the teen years, it is vital that parents understand their teen’s behavior rather than merely react to it. – Sandra

Why Teens & Parents Often Struggle During the Teen Years:

1. Teens feel conditionally loved: “I’m OK only if I live up to your expectations.”
2. Parents don’t often allow teens to learn from failure, an excellent motivator.
3. Teens can’t learn time management skills simply through the creation of “daily routine” charts.
4. Parents gift their kids too many things and then wonder why teens are unappreciative and want more.
5. Teens don’t learn problem-solving skills when parents lecture them.
6. Parents don’t always calmly and simply say, “I love you, and the answer is no.”
7. Parents struggle with being kind and firm while holding teens accountable.
8. Parents too often tell their teen what to do rather than inviting them to brainstorm solutions.
9. Parents expect teens to “remember to do their chores” which is not a developmental guarantee.
10. Parents are often more interested in short-term results. For example: I’ll force you to do your homework now even if it means you will not do your best – because you are rebelling.
11. Parents nag, which invites resistance, instead of allowing teens to explore for themselves the relevance of what you want them to do.

Being a “drill sergeant” or a “helicopter parent”  can undermine a teen’s self-esteem, which preventing them from developing confidence in their own abilities. Successfully navigating this phase of life involves setting boundaries and enforcing consequences without becoming punitive, angry, or judgmental.

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Talking To Your Teen Daughter About Boys

adolescentintimacy

A Note From The Santa Monica Teen & Family Therapist

Do your teen daughter find herself feeling nervous when it comes to being around boys? Read up on things you can tell her about this topic. – Sandra

“I’ve always been friends with boys, but as lately, every time I see one of the guys I’ve been close to since kindergarten, I get really nervous. What’s wrong with me?”

I would guess that you are attracted to the guys you are feeling nervous around. This is not unusual. As hormones change, biologically we become interested in people who could be potential future life partners. This can leave you feeling self-conscious and awkward around people who, up until now, were simply your friends.

Also, as you grow up, you don’t always talk about the same things you used to talk about as a child. Therefore, you may also find yourself struggling to be with old friends in a new way. These can leave you feeling like you are just talking about random stuff.

Lastly, boys and girls who played together as children may start moving into different areas of interest as they prepare for their roles as young men and women. Our society tends to define people in terms of male and female roles, with different sets of expectations for each. This can be confusing, as those roles were not so obvious when you as children. People you thought you knew well can suddenly feel like strangers as they move in different directions from you.

Your job, during this time, is to discover who you are, and who you like spending time. My suggestion is to choose companions with whom you feel comfortable being yourself when you are around them.

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Facebook: A Teen Popularity Contest?

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A Note From The Santa Monica Family Therapist

In order to be eligible to sign up for Facebook, kids must be 13 years of age or older. – Sandra

In a presentation I gave recently at a local middle school, I learned that many of the kids who have Facebook pages were under 13, and did not really understand the purpose of Facebook. Many teens and preteens seem to think that Facebook was designed as a popularity contest. Therefore, their intention in posting is to get people to “like” their posts and “friend” them. This can lead some teens to obsess over whether they are getting enough “likes’ and who has more friends.

Glued to their computers after school (or sometimes during, if they have the phone app) they stalk their peer’s Facebook pages to check for updates. Instead of using this website as a way to merely share special moments with people they care about, and who care about them, they set out to prove something – that they are worthy of attention.

Some teens go to such extremes as to post inappropriate photos of themselves and others, not recognizing the long-term consequences of those images floating around on the Internet – forever. Other teens engage in cyber-bullying, using the Facebook medium as a way to bash others and knock them down.

There is a maturity level that allows a young person to recognize who are actually their friends and to feel secure in, as well as nurture those relationships. I fear that 13 may be too young for many kids to have this level of emotional maturity. Until a child is able to step away from the computer on their own volition to attend to their homework and other responsibilities, Facebook may be an unnecessary distraction.

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Parents: Become A Cure To Bullying

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A Note From The Santa Monica Teen & Family Therapist

Read on to learn how you can help your teen deal with bullying. – Sandra

Has anyone ever intimidated you, or made you feel less than them? Perhaps it was a parent, a teacher, a neighbor, an employer, or a spouse. The feeling was probably one of helplessness and despair, along with perhaps some anger and the desire for revenge.

People often define things by right and wrong, good and bad, different and similar. When countries go to war over over religion and people are judged for the color of their skin or romantic preference, what lessons are we teaching our teens?

When little Johnnie hits a friend for taking his toy, there is an opportunity to teach him how to share. When bigger Johnnie mocks his classmate for his handicap or learning disability, there is an opportunity to teach him about diversity.

If your teen frequently hears you talk down about others, or experiences  you using intimidation to get them to do what you want, you may be teaching them how to be bullies, or victims. I invite you to consider the possibility of using your behavior to teach lessons of  respect, compassion and acceptance.

As for parents of the victims being bullied, there will always be people who don’t treat your teen in the way you would like. But if you help your teen to have a strong sense of self love, they can respond in ways that avoid giving bullies satisfaction.

There are ways to handle insults that remove their sting. For example, if someone makes a mocking comment about one’s clothes, hair, accent, or physical features, a response you could suggest to your teen might be to simply say: “Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Thank you for sharing yours.”

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

Setting Social Media Limits For Teens

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A Note From The Santa Monica Family Therapist

Are you aware of how much time your teen spends on their phone each day? – Sandra

Call me old fashioned, but to me, the purpose of Facebook is to let the folks who care about you, but can’t see or speak with you every day (like grandparents, best friends, or kids away at college) get a glimpse into how you are doing and perhaps spending your days. It is not about obsessively creating posts for each and every thing you think or do.

Questions For Parents To Ponder:

1. How much time does your teen spend on their phone each day?

2. Do you ever limit their time on the phone or computer?

3. Does your teen spend more time on technology than actually seeing their friends?

4. Does looking at Instagram every make your teen feel lonely or sad?

5. Does your teen ever complain of online fights or cyber-bullying?

6. Has your teen ever lost their Instagram privileges for neglecting their schoolwork by being online too much?

7. Does your teen have hobbies outside of being online?

8. Do you ever feel like you can’t get your teen to step away from their computer?

9. Does your teen ever use texting because they are too shy to speak directly to someone?

10. If your teen did not have a computer (or cell phone), how might they stay in contact with their friends?

If you teen is spending too much time on the computer, then you may want to consider helping them to cut back, replacing screen time with time spent on homework, with family and friends, or getting some fresh air and exercise. Here is one solution that I have recommended to parents: Net Nanny Parental Control Software

Net Nanny® provides:

  • Ease of use
  • Remote management
  • Alerts and reporting
  • Time controls
  • Profanity masking
  • Monitoring of IM chats

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.

FREE Parent Consultation

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A Note From The Santa Monica Teen & Family Therapist

Improve your parent-child relationship and make your home a happier place. – Sandra

Schedule a Free 50-Minute Parent Consultation with me, and allow me to demonstrate the support I can offer to you and your family.

I CAN HELP YOU:

  • Build better communication with your adolescent
  • Create a more peaceful home environment
  • Get answers to your parenting questions
  • Understand the issues teens face today

**Valid for parents with children between the ages of 11 – 19.

If your teen or young adult child is struggling socially or emotionally, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it.

Menu of Services Offered:

Call Now to Schedule a Free Consultation!

Click to Call:

(310) 951-5678
.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupont.com

verified by Psychology Today

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

Providing service for: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, West Hollywood.