Teach Your Daughter How To Deal With Jealousy
By
A Note From The Santa Monica Family Therapist
“I’m a cheerleader and all of my friends act mad at me because I can do cool tricks and flips. They think I’m showing off. I’m really not like that at all. I’ve tried to tell them but they keep ignoring me. What do I do now??”
RECOGNIZING ENVY
What you are describing is something called envy. Sometimes, when you have something that someone else wants, they try to take it away from you by putting it down. This is one of the main reasons that gossip magazines are so popular. Everyone wants to hear the dirt on the stars who appear to be living the “dream life”.
YOUR HAVE CHOICES
- You can just keep doing what you are doing, knowing that you will just have to put up with other girls acting envious.
- You can stop doing all your cool tricks and anything else that makes you stand out.
- You can share what you have by helping those who are interested learn to do some cool tricks of their own.
BUILDING BRIDGES
I recommend sharing as a way to build a bridge between you and those who wish they had what you have. Of course, there may still be some who won’t accept your gift, but a number of people will realize what a really nice person and real friend you are.
To have good friends you first need to be a good friend. Good friends share what they have. Good friends stick up for each other. Good friends are kind to each other. Good friends encourage each other to be the best they can be.
**Note: If your teen is struggling, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it. I invite you take that critical next step, and allow me to demonstrate the support I can offer to you and your family.
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SandraDupontMFT.com
Adolescent Therapist | Parent Coach | Teen Mentor
Serving: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, and West Hollywood.
My daughter is very shy, and doesn’t bother anyone. Yet, she gets picked on simply because she is pretty. What is with the teen girls these days?
I think that envy and jealously has been around forever. Adolescence is such a vulnerable time, where teens are trying to figure out who they are by comparing themselves to others.
Your daughter’s being shy may be interpreted as her being aloof. Perhaps there is a way that she could learn how to reach out to the other girls and make them into friends. I would be happy to meet with you both for a free consultation to think further about how to best support her.