A Note from the Santa Monica Teen Therapist

In your relationship with your teenager, it is important to be open to hearing their point of view. Be willing to admit when they are making a good point, and try to find a compromise. – Sandra

Have you  noticed how passionate an adolescent can get when expressing their opinion? It can be really frustrating for them when they don’t feel heard. Even within families who get along well most of the time, there can be occasional disagreements.

Helpful Guidelines:

First, it is essential to really listen while they are talking, instead of formulating your response in your head. Secondly, try to stick to topic you are discussing and not jump around by bringing up past hurts or misunderstandings.

The foundation of any respectful argument involves avoiding: raising your voice, swearing, name calling, or pointing your finger in their face. You never want to use threats or taunts, which will only escalate the tension between you. A healthy relationship is based on honesty and trust, so you also don’t want to exaggerate to make a point.

Creating a Safety Phrase of Gesture

You should never be placed in a position where you fear an argument could get physical. Laying a hand on anyone in anger is not okay. Therefore, it is wise to agree upon a safety phrase or gesture that indicates it might be helpful to take a “time out” from an argument which has gotten too heated.

Be Willing to Apologize

You be a role model for your teen by being willing to apologize if you realize you are wrong. These recommendations will obviously work best if you and your child can both agree to use them. Remember, you are teaching your teen that it’s easier to hear and be heard when their opinion is expressed thoughtfully and respectfully.

Yes, it is possible for you to express your feelings without alienating your teen! The goal is to model to your child that it’s okay to agree to disagree…

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For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupontMFT.com

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tags: find a teen therapist, parenting teens, teen advice, teen depression, teen peer pressure, teen self esteem, teen support groups, teenagers problems